This may be written by someone with stage IV lung cancer but it’s really not all that different than anyone with a stage IV cancer diagnosis in active treatment. We have legit fears and anxieties and we also have resilience and a perspective on this that most people don’t. Do us a favor: stay home.
Well, hi. It’s a strange time to be living right now, isn’t it? Self-quarantine, isolation, social distancing. Covid-19 is no joke — and right now it feels like the most unwelcome guest that has overstayed it’s welcome by weeks.
Having cancer is also like that. It takes up space in a person’s body — uninvited and sticking around far longer than anyone would like. And like everyone else right now, every ache, pain, cough, fever, whatever makes you wonder, is this it? Do I have this thing now? It’s scary and it’s a total mind fuck. And feeling scared, uncertain, angry, or (name that feeling) is NORMAL.
Please, take care of your mental health right now. It’s so important and I cannot stress that enough. It’s hard when we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. When we don’t know when we won’t be trapped inside like caged animals anymore. But something else that’s important: we are all in this together. Yup, you read that right. All of us. Together. Even if we are separated. If you need anything please ask me. I cannot always help, but I like to think I can try to get help your way. I know people 😉
My personal community has been awesome. People are sharing resources, helping with homeschooling ideas as we await our wonderful teacher’s plans, delivering meals and groceries, checking in with calls and messages, and creating virtual spaces to create art.
Self portrait by me
Because of my “special” designation as a cancer patient in active treatment I get to be extra cautious with my social distancing and isolation. At this moment I am told I need to isolate for a minimum of 30 days. We are on day four. So far so good, but also not perfect. For me the hardest moments are all in the mental game.
I have this unique perspective where I am not that scared of the actual virus. I am doing everything I need to with washing hands, staying home, disinfecting, etc. I am more scared of what is going to happen to my mind. Between homeschooling, housekeeping, and generally keeping my kid’s minds fresh, I don’t have a lot of extra time for me. That seems weird considering the circumstances, but it’s true. And my usual ways of showing self-love aren’t quite so easy with the kids home right now. I love alone time, lending a helping hand, doing a project start to finish, listening to an audiobook while cooking, knitting, going for a hike, etc.
We have a daily routine that’s so helpful at keeping us grounded, but I’m on from 6:30 am until 9 pm with the kids. Some of it is my own doing — for example, we are sticking with our no screen time rule during the school week for now. That applies to me too. Outside of checking emails once in a while that I really don’t respond to until the end of the day I don’t get screen time. But some of it is my kid’s personality. My older child is more self-sufficient and loves alone time. My younger child is very needy still and is a total extrovert. When you have a younger kid that really needs you to be on, it’s so hard to figure out a way to get them to play alone for 20-30 min. so mama can have a moment of distraction herself. Thankfully my husband came to my rescue today and took the kids outside for 30 min so that I could work on an art project I had started. That felt great!
That’s all tangential to my main point though — Mental health shouldn’t be ignored. I’m seeing that very clearly and I hope you will too.
Now back to our usual programming. Tomorrow morning I have to leave my isolation to get my blood drawn and have labs done. Luckily, I don’t have to go into Boston for this one. Usually, I don’t have a choice for the trial, but we are making an exception here for these weird times.
Blood work will be done and as long as everything checks out okay I’ll get my clinical trial drugs mailed to me before the weekend. No worries my friends, I’ll be extra careful out there.
My team at The Farbs has been great. With each phone call, they have been patient and flexible. I am sending them lots of good vibes as I am sure the coming weeks will be hell in Boston. I’ll be down there on April 5 for my next set of scans. I’ll let y’all know that goes!
Please continue to take this seriously for a while longer. Wash your hands and avoid crowds or gatherings. There are lots of folks that have compromised immune systems that you probably don’t know about — help keep us safe!
Well, hi. It’s a strange time to be living right now, isn’t it? Self-quarantine, isolation, social distancing. Covid-19 is no joke — and right now it feels like the most unwelcome guest that has overstayed it’s welcome by weeks.
Having cancer is also like that. It takes up space in a person’s body — uninvited and sticking around far longer than anyone would like. And like everyone else right now, every ache, pain, cough, fever, whatever makes you wonder, is this it? Do I have this thing now? It’s scary and it’s a total mind fuck. And feeling scared, uncertain, angry, or (name that feeling) is NORMAL.
Please, take care of your mental health right now. It’s so important and I cannot stress that enough. It’s hard when we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. When we don’t know when we won’t be trapped inside like caged animals anymore. But something else that’s important: we are all in this together. Yup, you read that right. All of us. Together. Even if we are separated. If you need anything please ask me. I cannot always help, but I like to think I can try to get help your way. I know people 😉
My personal community has been awesome. People are sharing resources, helping with homeschooling ideas as we await our wonderful teacher’s plans, delivering meals and groceries, checking in with calls and messages, and creating virtual spaces to create art.
Self portrait by me
Because of my “special” designation as a cancer patient in active treatment I get to be extra cautious with my social distancing and isolation. At this moment I am told I need to isolate for a minimum of 30 days. We are on day four. So far so good, but also not perfect. For me the hardest moments are all in the mental game.
I have this unique perspective where I am not that scared of the actual virus. I am doing everything I need to with washing hands, staying home, disinfecting, etc. I am more scared of what is going to happen to my mind. Between homeschooling, housekeeping, and generally keeping my kid’s minds fresh, I don’t have a lot of extra time for me. That seems weird considering the circumstances, but it’s true. And my usual ways of showing self-love aren’t quite so easy with the kids home right now. I love alone time, lending a helping hand, doing a project start to finish, listening to an audiobook while cooking, knitting, going for a hike, etc.
We have a daily routine that’s so helpful at keeping us grounded, but I’m on from 6:30 am until 9 pm with the kids. Some of it is my own doing — for example, we are sticking with our no screen time rule during the school week for now. That applies to me too. Outside of checking emails once in a while that I really don’t respond to until the end of the day I don’t get screen time. But some of it is my kid’s personality. My older child is more self-sufficient and loves alone time. My younger child is very needy still and is a total extrovert. When you have a younger kid that really needs you to be on, it’s so hard to figure out a way to get them to play alone for 20-30 min. so mama can have a moment of distraction herself. Thankfully my husband came to my rescue today and took the kids outside for 30 min so that I could work on an art project I had started. That felt great!
That’s all tangential to my main point though — Mental health shouldn’t be ignored. I’m seeing that very clearly and I hope you will too.
Now back to our usual programming. Tomorrow morning I have to leave my isolation to get my blood drawn and have labs done. Luckily, I don’t have to go into Boston for this one. Usually, I don’t have a choice for the trial, but we are making an exception here for these weird times.
Blood work will be done and as long as everything checks out okay I’ll get my clinical trial drugs mailed to me before the weekend. No worries my friends, I’ll be extra careful out there.
My team at The Farbs has been great. With each phone call, they have been patient and flexible. I am sending them lots of good vibes as I am sure the coming weeks will be hell in Boston. I’ll be down there on April 5 for my next set of scans. I’ll let y’all know that goes!
Please continue to take this seriously for a while longer. Wash your hands and avoid crowds or gatherings. There are lots of folks that have compromised immune systems that you probably don’t know about — help keep us safe!
Hannah in CancerLand 