This last week was a rollercoaster. My carefully planned week of appointments, work, and after-school activities were upset many times. This balancing act was getting hard, and on Wednesday I finally broke.
Leading up to the actual moment that I was getting my first infusion of immunotherapy, I was anxious as hell. On Monday I had to have blood work and scans down in Boston — all prep for this trial. I was supposed to go down EARLY and be in and out and return to work by 10:30am. Imaging was running 2 hours behind which caused everything else to fall behind as well. I didn’t return to work until noon.
On Wednesday I got a phone call from my research nurse saying that I needed to do a blood test to check my menopausal status. Could I drive down to Londonderry to get this blood test today? Oh, and they close at 5pm. After a few phone calls I ended up hearing, even if you do the blood test today, it might not be processed in time for you to start the trial tomorrow. WTF?! No. All I could think about was that I needed to do everything, anything to make sure that I was actually on this trial on Thursday.
I had to think quickly, who could help me with after-school care for the kids? Who could close the library (where I work) early? Would I have to cancel after-school activities at the library? Would I make it to the lab in time (it’s an hour away)?
As these questions swirled through my head, I lost it. I was uncontrollably crying in a stairwell of the library. How can I do this? If the trial hasn’t even started, and I can’t keep all of these plates spinning and my emotions in check, how can I handle the demanding schedules of the trial, the side effects, my family life, work?
With a hug from a co-worker and a few texts later my fantastic neighbors pulled through with rides, entertainment, and dinner. And one of my co-workers said she could stay to close the library. I would be able to make it to the lab in time after all. Yay!
But it was all for naught. I received communication from my research nurse that I wouldn’t need the blood test after all. I would just have to do a blood pregnancy test the next morning, and that was good enough.
Ugh.
I am thankful I didn’t have to rush down to Londonderry, but I could have really done without all of that.
Hannah in CancerLand 